Tuesday, January 19, 2010

DNASat Homing In On Yolande

Thanks to a miracle of technology, I can at last report that I'm homing in on the whereabouts of Yolande Beckles. A previous attempt that located her somewhere around Mulholland Drive probably owed more to my informant's passion for David Lynch than to their passion for good detective work. But I've now subscribed to DNASat - and it's already come up with something.
For those unfamiliar with the DNASat commercial tracking service, their computer systems analyse masses of data from the company's satellites, looking for minute traces of DNA evaporating into the atmosphere as people perspire. Over a period of time, the computers recognise the same DNA pattern focused in a given area and by comparing multiple results they can eventually track down an individual's home. All I had to do was provide a sample, which a previous contact of Yolande was kind enough to supply me with. And would you believe it? Bingo! DNASat has already produced its first map, showing the rough area in which Yolande is based. Not too far away from the earlier map that someone emailed me, but a bit to the south-east. Here it is:

Yolande Beckles lives somewhere in the red circle
Hopefully, over the next few days the satellites will pick up more signals and be able to refine the area gradually until they have identified Yolande's house. If I understand the service correctly, it switches from topographical format to aerial format as it narrows down the search. So in a week or so I should be able to publish a satellite photo of the Beckles residence.


  1. Sample? What sample? A swab, or something even more intimate?